Pie Anyone?
by penguininpink
Summary: This entire situation was ridiculous. Whoever heard of deciding if you're going to date someone based on a piece of pie? One shot


Yes, believe it or not, I am back to writing fanfiction! This is a temporary position at best, but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things soon.

Here is the revamped _Pie Anyone?_

* * *

"You have ten minutes to decide," said Sirius, placing two small pieces of pie in front of me. "Ten minutes, or we'll flip a coin and let _it_ do the deciding."

I looked from the slice of lemon pie to the slice of cherry pie. This entire situation was ridiculous. Whoever heard of deciding if you're going to date someone based on a piece of pie?

I glanced at Potter across the table. He watched me with interest, the ever present smirk tightly in place. Which piece of pie? For that was the agreement. James had already chosen which piece meant yes and which piece meant no. I was to choose a piece, and that would be the end of it. I would be either forever cursed with Potter as a boyfriend, or forever free from his proposals.

Which piece of pie?

"Nine minutes," said Black from somewhere to the right of me.

I picked up my fork and toyed with the lemon slice.

"Cherry pie does taste very nice," said Potter.

My head jerked up. He wanted to trick me in a mind game did he? Well I was going to be the one doing the tricking. He wanted me to eat the cherry pie? No, of course not, he would never be so obvious about it. He wanted me to eat the lemon pie.

"Eight minutes," said Black.

But suppose he knew that I would know. That meant that he actually _did_ want me to take the cherry pie. But if _he _knew that _I _knew that _he _knew, then I should eat the lemon pie... right?

I was getting very confused.

"Seven minutes."

Not to be rushed, I purposely and methodically rose and strode a few feet down the table to a basket of fruit. I picked up a handful of grapes and returned. Was it my imagination, or were the pieces slightly different sizes now? The lemon slice looked larger.

"Six minutes."

I suddenly seized my fork and stabbed the cherry slice, watching Potter out of the corner of my eye. Nothing. Not a shake of the head, not a lip quirk, not even an eyelash quiver! He remained the same: motionless, impenetrable and unreadable. How was I supposed to figure out which piece to eat when I was dealing with the poker player of the century?

"Five minutes."

"I wouldn't eat the lemon piece if I were you," said Potter, his voice betraying nothing. "I think Peeves dropped a Flobberworm stomach."

What was this nonsense? "What?"

"When you went for your grapes. Peeves floated by and dropped a Flobberworm stomach onto your plate."

I leaned close to the table, carefully inspecting the lemon pie. The surface was all mashed up - it was supposed to be that way - but a Flobberworm stomach could easily be hidden... couldn't it?

"Four minutes."

"Flobberworm stomachs are yellow, you know," James said matter-of-factly. "That's why we had such a fun time pouring it onto Snape. They really showed up against his hair."

He kept trying to get me to like the cherry pie, and he said there was something wrong with the lemon pie - a Flobberworm stomach, of all the ridiculous things - so I should definitely eat the lemon pie.

"Flobberworm stomachs are poisonous," continued Potter. "You'll have to take a remedy potion if you eat that one."

But what if he was telling the truth?

"Three minutes."

No, I should eat the lemon pie. He didn't want me to eat it, so I should eat it. But maybe that's part of his plan. To convince me to think he thinks something when he actually thinks the opposite! But what about that Flobberworm? No, he was just bluffing.

Peeves suddenly darted through the wall. "That was great!" he cackled. "To scare the ickle firsties with Flobberworm parts! Now to fill those water balloons!" He darted out.

"Two minutes."

I started to panic. Which one? Cherry? Lemon? I saw Potter get up and retrieve a banana. He leaned against the back of his chair, chewing contentedly. What was he trying to say? That he wanted me to take the lemon?

"I really do like cherry," he said again, throwing the banana peel aside.

Which piece of pie?

"One minute."

My time was up. I had to choose. Lemon or cherry? Cherry or lemon?

"Thirty seconds."

Red made me think of blood - not good.

But yellow made me think of bubotuber puss - also not good.

"Fifteen seconds."

There was no more time. A decision had to be made.

I picked up a slice and placed it millimeters away from my lips.

"Good!" exclaimed Potter.

I instantly dropped it, grabbed the other slice and stuffed it into my mouth. Victory! I had won. I stared at Potter, waiting for his grin to fade. It remained as wide as before.

"Even better," he said cheerfully, and turned over the parchment where he had earlier wrote his decisions.

I stared in horror. This could not be!

"Really though," he said, "I do like cherry pie."

* * *


End file.
